Too Close to Home

I read an article in the last couple weeks (I don't remember what or where, or I'd link) that mentioned, sort of off-handedly, that lawyers are people who were good at everything all their lives, but never really great at anything. (I think the thrust of the article was that, then, in order to really excel in their careers, lawyers need to break out of that, specialize and market themselves as experts in a particular niche, but none of us want to do that....that's not really the point here anyway.)

So it just stuck. in. my. brain. Because it's so absurdly true of me, and of most of the lawyers I know. But one of the things I always thought was, well, if I can be good at all this shit, maybe I can be a great lawyer.

What's been in part frustrating for me about my job is that, definitionally, a BIG part of what it means to be "great" at it is being available. All the time. Working nights. Working weekends. Answering emails late. Going in to the office even if you hadn't planned to. It's not even going above and beyond because it's expected. In fact, it's required. I don't know how to get away from that, especially because I work at a firm that's now (allegedly) one of the least demanding in that way in the city. As I think I said before, I work in an area of the law that doesn't lend itself super-easily to non-firm practice, at least not before you're well above my pay grade (like 15 years senior to me), so there don't seem to be a ton of options for hopping off the treadmill. And that freaks me the fuck out.