out of touch

I have never been the kind of person who's really good at staying in touch with people. There are a number of reasons why this is a flaw in my personality, but I'll skip over them to the punchline: I should stop it. It's a result of this flaw that I have very few people I keep in touch with from high school and college.

Keeping in touch is a weird thing anyway, in the Facebook Era. I mean, I know exactly what basically every member of my high school class is doing now--both in terms of their careers and education and families, and in terms of what they had for lunch or what color their bra is. (That is a whole different post, which will likely never get posted.) But do I actually speak to any of them? Basically no.

For a long time, I thought of this as thoughtful pruning. And, to some extent, I still do. I have no time in my life for people who aren't pretty awesome. Everybody has to deal with a number of not-that-awesome people every day--as part of our jobs, our commutes, our web-surfing, our grocery shopping, whatever the fuck it is we do all day--and I like to keep that to an absolute minimum. Seems fair. But what got thrown out with that bathwater are all the people that I really like but just somehow never made time for. Or people that I made time for at one point in my life and just stopped later because of distance or laziness.

So this is my resolution: to be a better friend. I'd even share a milkshake. Maybe. Probably not 3 ways, though. I take my ice cream more seriously than that.

Year in Review

2009 was, as predicted, a big year for me. I'm married. I'm no longer a student. I'm a lawyer. I live in Chicago. I'm renting a car tomorrow, and not paying any special underage fee.

Of course, things never go exactly as you imagine they will, and 2009 is no exception. I didn't start my job in September, like I expected to. So while I'm a lawyer, I still have yet to actually, you know, practice law. This means, among other things, I continue to live more or less like a student, only with even more credit card debt. It also means I don't own a home. I am right now less financially stable than I have ever been.

Also in 2009, I lost two of my grandparents. I don't know what to say about that, except that Christmas is always harder when you've recently lost someone. I miss them both very much.

Also unexpected was the amount of travel I got to do. I saw parts of this country I wasn't sure I'd ever see, and I got a better tan than I've had since I was a little kid who basically lived at the local swim club. I hiked in some of the most beautiful places on earth and I ate some of the most delicious foods and I fell in love with my husband all over again.

It's also been a transformative year for those around me. My husband left his job in financial services, likely never to return again. My dad started a new career as a teacher, and has hit a few bumps in that road. My mom was finally diagnosed with anemia, and, with treatment, has become a real person again. My sister graduated from college, moved to the big city, got smacked around by the economy, and is in the process of moving home again.

All in all, it's been a really important year with the happiest happies and the saddest sads. I think I'll look back on it sort of wistfully some day, but for right now, it sort of just makes my stomach hurt to think about. I hope 2010 is nothing like it.

In keeping with the spirit of last year's new year post, I will immortalize some resolutions, most of which will look familiar.

1. I will value my health, meaning I will eat mindfully and exercise. I will consider this an investment in my health rather than a means to weight-loss.
2. I will work hard at my career, including being committed to pro bono work, but I will also be fully present at home when I am at home. No matter how many hours I feel I have to bill, I will bill them and then stop thinking about them.
3. I will do a better job of showing the people in my life how much I love them and how important they are to me.
4. I will not bring "throwaway" items into my house. I will stop buying cheap crap which I will just have to replace soon anyway and instead save up to buy something more worthwhile, substantial, and lasting.

5. I will take control of my finances. I will not, out of fear or disinterest, let my husband or fate make my decisions for me. I will be fiscally responsible, save for my future and pay down our debts as quickly as possible, but still have a little fun.

I'm not sure what will become of this blog in 2010. Kate Gets a Job is far less interesting to me than whatever it is we've been doing here for the last 7 months.

the next chapter

Thank you to all of you who sent condolences on the death of my grandmother. Honey was a brilliant and, frankly, at times difficult woman. At her core, though, I think she was really a woman who just wanted people to love her and wasn't ever quite sure how to make it happen. In that process, I think she sometimes missed the fact that we were all going to love her anyway. She also was a woman, much like myself, who KNOWS her sweets. Anywhere I go, I know where all the ice cream places in a 5 mile radius are--and that's just straight genetics. Her favorite was a butterfinger blizzard, and if you can, you should go get one today: it'sMiracle Treat Day--buy a blizzard and it benefits children's hospitals. A miracle. I think it's a sign. Anyway, I miss her already.

My Danda, her husband of 55 years, has been ill as I mentioned. He has not, however, lost his sense of humor. I asked him how he was? "I was all right, but I got over it." When a neighbor came to express her condolences (a totally adorable old woman) after she left? "What a twit. You'd be playing chess with the King of Poland and she'd bring a Parcheesi set." And of course, of the nursing home rehab where he's currently staying? "I ain't gonna be there long...nice people, but too damn many rules." Please continue to keep him in your thoughts, so that he gets stronger and can (safely) go home soon.

Also, a special shout-out to my Aunt Denise and Uncle Tom who, by virtue of both their proximity and borderline sainthood have shouldered waaayyy more than their fair share of the work involved in caring for our aging family. I honestly don't know what we would do without them, but I'm glad I won't have to find out.

Honey insisted that we have a wake, and as far as I know, her only request was that there be only top-shelf liquor. We honored her request (of course) and told stories and laughed and cried. Mourning is always made a little easier with a pretty spectacular fam and a couple vodka lemonades.

But anyway, the hubs and I are back home and currently packing to move out of our place here. And by "packing," I mean, watching the professional movers pack. This is our first professional move, since the firm is paying for it, and let me tell you: it's way better than doing it yourself. For example, I am sitting here blogging while a nice young man with full sleeves (definition link included for you, Dad) puts all our (sweet new wedding gift) dishes into boxes.

So tomorrow we're loading up our car with everything (hopefully) we're going to need for the next couple months and hitting the road tomorrow. First stop: our hometown.