PANTS

Here's something absurd about me, in this moment: I have no idea what size pants I wear. I mean, really. I blogged about my weight gain a bit back in January, which also happened to be right when I started work. Despite my bloggy grumblings, I did eventually find a few pairs of pants from a few gracious retailers willing to sell to my newly-WOMAN-size ass. Now, though, I've lost a pretty significant amount of weight, and really just haven't had time to go buy new pants. I am currently wearing a pair of non-stretchy dress pants that I can remove without undoing the button or zipper, which I am pretty sure is a sign of bad fit. Well, that and the fact that I have taken to pinning them before work so I don't walk around holding them up. It's only margininally effective, and creates bunching issues....from the back, I have droopy diaper syndrome, and from the front, that old enemy of Michael Kors: crazy crotch. I clearly have gone down a size. Have I gone down two? Dear lord, could I be wearing pants three sizes too large? Like my pants are the grinch's chest and I am the grinch's heart?